You think you're going into the bathroom." You're like, "I'm in the f**king woofer! How did I get in here?"

So new layout. Don't get me started on the shit storm that turned into to getting that slideshow how I wanted it. I feel like this day has been interesting enough with me going off on a widget rip/tear...


Scene: 6am. Eyes? Itchy/Red/Tired. Throat? Dry. Head? Pounding. Thinking "Why do I feel so terrible?" Oh yes, now I remember... I recall this brief moment of "Whatthef**kamIdoinghere?" at 2am last night this morning....but I was hammered water tasted good, and well, Miss Shannon is just VERY persuaive. So, on the deck I sat. I should also note that between Becker and his co-worker, quite a few shots (Max: They were no "Jim Morrison" or "Fancy Pants") were had. I, as sort of a general rule, try to stay out of jail, so I drank like 1,785,354,786,565 glasses of water before I left the bar...


That night started out as normal as any. Talked to Becker yesterday afternoon; we made up from our "Bitchy-Mc-Hatefest" that we were on and decided to go to dinner when I got off work. So we went to dinner at Stone Canyon Pizza in Parkville (goat cheese only (no mozz/whatever that biz is) pizza on whole wheat crust with olive oil, mushrooms, and tomatoes-delicious!), and then we went to dance class in North KC (Side Note: Whitney was selling shirts that say "Show me your Cha Cha"...which I find HI-LARIOUS, but I feel like I'm welcoming some weird sexual molestation or something...yet I still bought one. Best $20 I spent last night, for sure.) After class we head back to Becker's to get his car so he can leave stay way to damn late early because he has to creep on people while they gamble work at 6 in the morning and he didn't want to stay til the bar closed as late as I did.


I take off toward the bar to meet Eva for trivia. About that time, Maxy-pants called me and so I went through the bar while an energetic crowd cheered as the person in charge of the game said "and the answer was...JUSTIN BEIBER (You are correct if you realized this is the point where I realized I did NOT want to play trivia.) So I scurry up the stairs and proceed to finish my conversation with Max. I feel like the transition of bad events happened when the bartender approached and said "Want a drink, pretty lady?" This was followed by Becker and his co-workers nosily entering the bar and taking over my table...ready to get piss ass drunk have a relaxing evening on the deck with all the liquor in the bar a few beers. The obvious answer to that question? I would, in fact, like a drink...


Let's return to present day. This morning I get ready like any normal day and hop in my car to go to work....except that 435 South SUCKS in the morning when you get near the exit where I-70 branches off and people get all hopped up on road rage and start driving stupidily. So I, therefore, became a few minutes behind as Mr. Big-White-Truck-Is-Hard-To-Meanuever-While-I'm-Concentrating-On-Being-A-Huge-Douche cuts me off and slams his breaks on as traffic comes to a standstill. I groan and turn up Miley Cyrus Secondhand Serenade and try to calm down while I impatiently tap my fingers on the steering wheel. I finallllllllly make it to the Gregory exit and wouldn't you know...as soon as I round the corner a cop pulls some Jackie Chan ninja shit, hops out of the clearing, jumps into the street with a radar gun aimed at us like that shit was loaded, and pulls me AND three other cars over. Suck. Effin' A, Cottin, Effin' A!


I know what you're thinking. "If you weren't going that fast..." Nope. 54 in a 35. In my defense, I was just giving into peer pressure and going with the speed of light flow of traffic. He didn't buy that either. Damn. So he asks for my license (No registration? Insurance? No? Today would have been a good day to be driving illegally - just not speeding!) He looks at it and says "I can't really see your last name, is that a....a...." I said "IT'S A T." He said "Ah, yes. You were speeding Miss....Miss..." "Yeah I kinda figured that by the way you flung your body into traffic and pointed at the side of the road like you were my dad grounding me for coming home high (haha, wait...) motioned me to pull over...." He writes me a ticket and says "Sign here. We'll mail you a form in 3 weeks with the fee on it." WTF? Seriously? Not only did you give me a ticket but you turned it into a gameshow where everytime I check the mail I'm suddenly on "Press Your Luck" and hoping it's not like $8,000,000,000 and the ominous "Wanh-Wanh" music sounds that implies I'm the LOSER. (I hear tickets are getting outlandishly expensive...) ....(Don't you hate people that overexagerate? Yeah....me too...they are so 1996.)


Anybody thinking to themselves "Why was this cop on FOOT?" Yeah, I was ACTUALLY not concerned about that at the time, but definitely thought it while I sat there for 10 years 5 mins while he was writing my ticket. In any other situation, I probably would have fought, but in this particular situation, but it was 7:48 (I am ALWAYS there by 7:50), and there's a grave possibility it was hot enough with the window down I was secreting leftover alochol out of my pores.


So anywhoo...after 2 hours of sleep last night (Yes, count it  -- One. Two.) I am EXHAUSTED. The Coffee House radio station is even WORSE today...I think I actually fell asleep with my eyes open. I was listening to some weird rendition of "Alison" and when I snapped back into reality it was a totally different song. All. Acoustic (of course) so it's painfully slow and soft rock-ish. If this "Coffee House" were a real place - I'd probably burn it to the ground. Whoa. Before you judge me, hypothetical arsen to an imaginery place is probably hard to prosecute. Merely stating my need for like 8+ cans of redbull and a nap. I might get up and pace around while


What's the point in this little rant, you might ask? Simple. Don't let Adrienne borrow your shorts because she doesn't wear underware, AND definitely  don't drink on Tuesdays.


On a lighter note, Maxius Prime is coming this weekend (Bring me some What-a-Burger (it's low fat, right? haha), tomorrow is my last day of work this week, and I've got some great stuff lined up for the rest of this week/weekend! It's not ALL bad. =)


In closing, if you obsess over love Twilight as much as I Becker does do, Check this out, Max sent it to me;


http://www.maniacworld.com/twilight-moms-double-standard.jpg


Bahahahahaha. Love it. ~K