As it would seem I have a decade worth of experience you are soon to encounter, I thought I’d let you know what you are in for—and what advice I have for you. First, and foremost—it’s okay if you aren’t the best at everything. One of these days, you’re going to rely on the talents you have, focus your time on those, and let go of all the things that don’t matter. Your family is ALWAYS going to support you, no matter what. You will have moments where they make you CRAZY mad, but you will have moments where they will stand up for you in ways you never expected. Embrace these moments.
Oh yeah—speaking of family. Your sister will become your best friend. Seriously. You guys fight now, but eventually, she will become the person you are the closest to in this world. She will love and support you—do the same for her. No matter what. You will be thankful you did. She will have an amazing son when you are 25, and you will love that child like your own. You will spend your weekends hanging out with them--and it will become the moments you look forward to most, at the beginning of each week. Not the parties and impressing certain guys--but these two people will make your world (and heart) seem so content.
Next, as important as manicures and always having the “best of everything” seem now, sooner or later—you will find no amount of shopping can fill the void where happiness should be. You have to learn to appreciate the right things. You will make lots of friends over the next 10 years—you need to figure out which are worth keeping, which will come in and out of your life quickly, and which are there to teach you the true meaning of friendship. Keep the ones that are there for you—even at 2am when you’re a drunken mess and just want to cry. Those people will come to understand you in a way you never thought possible. Learn to open up to people—even at 26, I struggle with it. I (much like you) find it easier not to say anything, than just say how I am feeling. We both need to work on this.
Don’t fret when you don’t end up at that fancy liberal arts college in Winfield (that you decided on a whim not to attend, 2 weeks before classes started)—you made the right choice. You will go to K-State and meet some REALLY amazing people who make it all seem worth it. You will get some lifelong friends out of it. One of them, will even talk you into moving to Kansas City
Trust me, you’ll be fine. You will get a GPS, and soon, find yourself not using it. Even when the road you are used to taking is closed, you will figure out how to get where you are going—very easily. Trust yourself. You know much more than you think you do. For the girl who never drove more than 10 minutes to get anywhere, your 45 minute commute to work each day, will become the part of the day where you process your life. You will take comfort in having that time to decompress before confronted by the world. Don’t get caught up in the traffic, just let it go. Don’t let that define your day. Let your thoughts and dreams fill the space in your mind where “rushing” tries to overtake.
Now, on to the one you are probably most anticipating. Guys. This one is tricky. Even at 26, I haven’t quite figured this one. I have thought I was close a few times, but I definitely am just as confused as you are. The good news? You will meet some REALLY fantastic guys that end up being really good friends. You will also meet some that aren’t worth the time you spend on them. Don’t give them another thought. When it’s over, don’t look back in regret—be thankful you realized they weren’t for you, before you wound up married and pregnant. Did I mention that? Not married. No kids. I’m either destined to be a crazy cat lady, or I just haven’t met the guy that is going to love me unconditionally.
See, That’s the thing about me—I (still) have these crazy ideas that love is full of grand gestures, public declarations, and LOTS of hand holding/kissing/gazing into each others eyes. The bad news is, you will have these expectations, even at your age, and your heart WILL get broken. I could tell you the exact time and location this happens, but I think you are better off to love freely, as though it will never end. That makes the experience so much better. It’s like Miley Cyrus says (you have no idea who that is—she is still a little kid...she’s the mullet “Achy Breaky Heart” dudes daughter—people will compare you to her. It will get annoying. Prepare yourself.) “Ain’t about how fast I get there, ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side—it’s the climb.” True story, kid. You will break some hearts too—but remember to always be kind. Be grateful that someone wanted you to have such a sacred part of them, and let them down gently if you don’t feel the same.
Never cheat. Always be the kind of person your momma would be proud of. If you remember correctly, even she had to give love a try a couple of times to get it right. No one is perfect. What you CAN do, is love—without regret…without reservation…and without condition. If things still aren’t right—then you gave it your all, right? Make sure the one you decide to be with, is not the one you settle for—but a good man, who deserves you. Who always treats you like a lady. Who says the word “beautiful” to/about you. Who respects your family. Who wraps his arm around you at your saddest moments. Who thinks your pretty when you first wake up. Who could fall asleep with his arms wrapped around you. Who wants to hold your hand in public-- and smiles when he says “she’s with me.” Most of all, the person who treats everyday he’s with you, like it might be the last.
As I wrote that last sentence--I just realized, maybe I’m not writing this because I think it’s the things you need to hear. It’s the things I want to tell myself NOW…so I know I’ve made the right choices. That even if my life hasn’t turned out exactly as I wanted to…that somewhere, I’ve made the right choices and I’m becoming the kind of person I want to be. That I’m working to better myself…my life—in ways I never thought possible. I guess we both learned something, huh?...
You will earn a Bachelors degree. Your family will be so overwhelmingly proud of you. You will have some really great jobs, and meet really amazing people there. You will have almost achieved a Master’s degree when you find yourself in the space I am today. You will have a great passion for music writing. Do not put down that guitar—it will soothe your soul when you write songs to reflect your view of the world. Make sure to include at least two lines about yourself/life, in every song you write (it’s kind of my trademark.) I know (and you know) how affected I am by the world. How my heart (although hidden) is on my sleeve. That it LITERALLY hurts when I’m sad. Never be afraid to let that hurt pour out of your music. It will make your songs so much better.
Well…that’s about it. Take care of you (me.) Cherish your high school years. Go to prom. Cry when your heart is broken. Cry on your daddy’s shoulder when you can’t face it alone. Drive around listening to stupid songs with your friends. Get your nails done (occasionally.) Laugh at things that are funny—but not at the expense of others. Grow up SLOWLY—but right. Be the person your parents raised you to be. Always love yourself--I sure do. <3
