"Now I'm sleeping on floors of temporary friends, but I'm keeping the store front as clean as I can --And I'm sweeping the sky for today's revelation, And I'm needing some time and some proper ventillation..."

Where do I even begin? Interactions. Interactions of all types shape the way we think/feel/believe about a person/situation. Sometimes those interactions are good, and sometimes, well you know...you want to burn their house to the ground forget you ever met some people. Speaking in a "non-relationship" type way, there are interactions that occur everyday.

Random Patient: "Can you look at my tooth? I think it needs a filling."
Me: "That would be a good question for the Dr., considering I dont see a filling for that tooth on your current treatment plan..."
RP: "But I can feel it...I KNOW it needs a filling -- schedule me for a filling."
Me: "But what if it's LESS severe? Do you really want to pay for a filling?"
RP: "It needs a filling - I know it does!"
Me: *sighs*

Interactions. They shape how our day progesses...how some days we can do a job and go home and have a pleasant evening of watching Teen Nick and getting drunk watching tv, or cleaning up around the house until it's time for bed...or....OR...we have those nights where we go to the bar when we suggest a friend suggests it, and we end up drinking until 2am when we have to work the next morning.

Do we even realize how we're interacting with people? When you go to the gas station  to buy ciagrettes/condoms/soda, does your interaction leave a good impression on the cashier? Do they make a good one on you? Do you even REMEMBER interacting with them? Sometimes, we get so caught up in the "auto-pilot" mode of our interactions, we fail to see when they have detrimental consequences to our lives.

Let's take relationships for example. Say there are two people who are dating each other, and for the most part, they get along well...but sometimes, they get so caught up in interactions with other people, they forget how to separate that from their interactions with each other. This would probably ultimately lead to the demise of said relationship, yes? If you are mad that "Snotty McAttitude" cashier was rude to you, you could go home and start a fight with "Most of the time I love you but you aren't being sympathetic right now" sifinificant other because of it -- How many times can this happen before the other person just shuts off emotionally toward you ? It would go something like this;  These two people go through the motions, fight when one of them is having a bad day, or even when they are mad about something else, making the other one upset for no reason....  and then one day, these two people realize maybe all they do is fight - so they stop interacting with each other totally.... (such is life)...and both move on and start interacting with other people and the process starts all over again.

Is there a point where we need to go back and focus on what we've done in the past, so we don't repeat it in the future? If we're constantly interacting with everyone in such a way that reflects the way we've always been, how do we learn from our mistakes? If these two people find two other people and start dating them, how do they keep those new relationships from falling into "auto-pilot" and ultimately failing the same way?

Is love really having to say you're sorry? (Wow, I really just said that...) Maybe. Maybe it's just learning to appreciate what you have and not freaking out on someone because they accidentally dump red wine on a cute aqua skirt you adore, or when they do you favor by carrying your make-up case and accidentally tip it over, sending your favorite limited edition bronzer sailing toward the pavement, ultimately breaking into a million tiny pieces... these are just a few instances in which interaction can one of two ways. You can get mad. You can scream and curse at people, or you can stop...pause and reflect on the ACTUAL intention at hand..and get over it. Realize we're all human and things happen -- and not let it affect your future interaction with that person, or worse, end all interaction with that person for good.

Intentions are key. Relaying those intentions is even more important. If we all were able to get past the bullshit and start owning up to these "omg, I'm kind of a hateful bitch being effin' crazy" moments and just tell people how we REALLY felt, maybe they'd understand us a little bit better.  Maybe it's letting someone know that even though we don't speak to them for eight months, we had good reasons for doing it, or maybe saying "even if our relationship isn't perfect, I still love who you are." We could probably all save each other all a little grief and pain.  It could be quite a humbling experience.  More importantly, if once a while we just learn how to say "I'm sorry" or respond with "It's ok...really" when others are apologizng to us, maybe we'd have a few more friends and alot better relationships. 

As for our normal daily interactions, perhaps it's letting the mail man know you appreciate that he goes out in 100+ degree weather to deliver your mail, or letting someone cut in front of us at the grocery store when they have 1 item and I always you have 1,000,000. (For me it's keeping my patience with the patients -- I just used two forms of the same word in one sentence --take THAT 8th grade English teacher!) Abvove all, I feel like it's listening. Interpreting. UNDERSTANDING. All of these things would shape our daily interactions and MAYBE make someone else's day. So, go ahead, get out of "auto-pilot" -- and start interacting. ~K