"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places" – Ernest Hemingway

Obstacles. There are many in life. Whether these obstacles are physical or emotional, we all create barriers that keep us from actively moving forward. Some people like to refer to this, in the non literal sense, as “a wall”…built so strategically, we use it as an emotional tool to keep others out. Not impossible to tear down, just….difficult. We all build walls for reasons. Why? Our hearts were broken? We broke someone else’s heart and don't feel bad at all all that’s left is guilt? We are holding on to some dark secret we are careful who we pick and choose to share it with? Whatever your reason may be, we all have some form of crazy emotional baggage.


More specifically, we’re all broken. Something, (usually quite often, someone) or some tragedy, of sorts has broken our spirit – caused us to face the world differently, with a little more cynicism and hostility than we’d like. Quite possibly, I’m one of the best examples of this; I’ve buried countless people that I’m close to, shut my emotions off to the point where my personal relationships are destroyed, and more often than not, been unwilling to be understanding in situations that require me to see some else’s perspective. I’m definitely a b*tch stubborn – quite possibly, to a fault.

What does all this mean? We should take these opportunities to better ourselves from the things that seek to destroy us. Without getting all “cunty culty-religious-type” on you, what I mean by that is that each day holds a new opportunity for us to fix what something/someone has broken. Referencing a quote made in a previous post, you have to see the world as worth taking risks. Are the things you want out of life, worth the risks you are taking? How about when it comes to love? Do I -- the biggest advocate of NO FEELINGS ever -- believe above all things, that love is worth the risk? SometimesAbsolutely. Risk anything and everything for love, because if you don’t, it won’t survive. We’ll all seen enough romantic comedies to realize that if Jimmy Fallon doesn’t risk giving up baseball for Drew Barrymore, she’s gonna talk out of the side of her mouth because it annoys me make gross, smiley babies with the sloshed dude hanging out at her apartment after the big breakup scene (Drew Barrymore, you are a slutty beast…)

What about everything else in life? There are always risks involved. Whether you move away from a city, not able to face the bad memories you’ve created there, or eventually move back once you figure out there is life beyond tragedy -- it’s all about how you assess the risk. Personal example: Had I stayed in Lawrence? I would be living day to day, working the same job or becoming a stripper, and never really bettering myself as far as a career advancement opportunity – but, would it be worth it? I’d get to see Sarah (my sister) and Cooper (my precious nephew) more, but would that REALLY be what’s best for me? Can I let my own personal tragedies make me scared to face the world without them close to me? The answer: Tear down those walls. Become a stronger person -- A person who can be out on their own, who makes a life for themselves, makes great friends, and remembers how even in our worst moments, we can find strength in the last place we least thought possible – ourselves. Side Note: Do not discredit your close friends/family, these people are always needed in times of weakness. If you can think of 5 people that would be there if tragedy struck your life – then count yourself lucky.

The strength I refer to is not just physical strength to get your emotional wreck of a former person butt out of bed – but mostly, emotional strength. It’s like a domino effect. I have always been the type of girl who relied on guys to change light bulbs, help me carry groceries up to my apartment, pressure me to try new things (branch out of my little “Kara” box Side Note: I did not mean that in the diry way),etc., -- However, for the past few months, I’ve really been into doing these kinds of things MYSELF. I even bought a little step stool so I can reach stuff on the high shelves. Small in the grand scheme of things, but empowering nonetheless.

Bottom line: Relationships (of all kinds) at some point, become a relation-sh*t aren’t always good. They break our spirits. They wear us down. They make us feel like tomorrow is going to be worse than today. The only thing we can really do is create barriers. Things that help us block out all those bad memories. Then we heal. We find things that make us want to tear down the walls. We find people worth our time that are willing to overcome each obstacle we’ve created for them. The thing about those people? Worth the risk. You could be missing out on more than you ever thought possible. These are those small defining moments when you realize obstacles are created, but the more we do to overcome them, the more we can say we’ve truly lived. ~K