"I'm debating nap vs. pool....right now lunch is winning... "

First, and foremost, this has been a pretty solid day. I got up (earlier than normal, in fact) and actually felt like I got enough sleep. I had enough time to get ready for the day. Today I had a day of complete moderation and it was a good feeling. I got to work with enough time to spare. Enough was the theme of the day...(Minus the lady with the yipping little ankle bitter across the hall I've just about too much of...) Eva came into the dentist so I got to spend like an hour with someone I know who talked to me about something other than work, which was a nice change of pace. After a moderately paced morning, I walked down to The Gaf and had lunch (small cup of Irish Stew soup stuff - amazing, btw) with Kyle Z & Resman and it was awesome to catch up with them! After a lunch filled with good college memories and random tidbits about our lives, I headed back to work feeling refreshed and ready to start my afternoon...

As I sit here munching my baked pretzel Goldfish crackers, contemplating life....I've decided there a few things I've found to be true;

#1) There IS such a thing as too much of a good thing (wine is certainly included in this - 4 bottles in one night? Yes...that is TOO much...do we really need to relive Becker shoving his fingers down my throat b/c he was concerned I was going to die from the amount of alochol I consumed? FYI: I did not throw up. Strong gag reflex. *shrugs*) Too much, though. Too much pressure? Too much work? How about too much/too soon? We're all familiar with this...whether it be copious amounts of wine, or someone/something, we all feel like sometimes we just get TOO much. Lately, I've had too much of some things. Moderation. Moderation is key. Then there's this problem, though...what happens when it goes AWAY and we don't get enough? Hummm....I could answer this, but that's another story for another day...(stay tuned, maybe?)....

#2) No one has really figured out what they want in life. We all know we want a relationship, of some sort, that makes us feel safe... happy...comfortable, but few of us rarely know how to do this and keep a good balance with the rest of the things in our lives. Me for instance? I have so much going on right now, I'm not even sure I could find time for a date? I could...but it means a trade off with someone/something else, right? I'm either giving up dance one evening, or if it's an off evening, I'm not hanging out with my friends...or cleaning my apartment (HOLY CRAP: Does it need it... I probably have a months worth of laundry to do and god help me, there is more sparkly bronzer all over my bathroom than most people probably would wear in a lifetime...) or going home to visit my family...or babysitting Cooper for my sis....AHH. Sometimes I need those moments where everything pauses (think "Saved By The Bell" where Zach would go "TIME OUT" and everyone would freeze -- well, they'd try, but Slater was pretty awful at it... ) and I have time to do all the things I should be doing with my life. According to my father (yes, I really said it like "Life According to Dad" style..) I need to find a husband one of these days...and eventually shat out some tiny ones. Maybe it's my prioritizing, but I'm pretty content where I am... but am I? Will my whole life pass me by and all I've really accomplished is spoiling the crap out of my nephew, destorying my liver with henious bar tabs, and impressing wedding goers with my fox trot skills?.... That would be pretty awful right? We ALL want relationships -- ALOT (most...in some way) dont' know how to do that while getting everything we want out of life. C'est la vie...

#3) Warning. RIP/TEAR. Why is it that when I say what I mean, people seem to interpret it in the WORST way possible? If you say to me "What do you mean you don't work Fridays?" I assume you understand that means the office is closed Friday and that you're not actually saying "so...you aren't gonna offer to get out of bed and come in for one teeth cleaning ALL day just for little ol' me?" The answer to that question is no, btw...but it was just an example. Like for instance, if I say to a random guy at the bar ,when he offers me some sex drinks or good converstaion, that I'm not interested, why do they find that challenging? I ACTUALLY mean NO when I say no. It doesn't mean "why don't you try even harder to creep me the hell out." Seriously. There is this world that exists in which I'm not being a total effin' bi-atch, I'm just simply stating a point. Maybe I'm just hard to read/understand/get naked and some people just don't get that? I feel like what I say is OBVIOUS. The things I FEEL, rarely get announced. Most often, it's random musings about life or statements just bluntly said. Ask me my opinion about something? I could talk all day...ask me how I FEEL about something? Yeah. That probably isn't happening....Moral of the story - some things can be taken at surface value. K? I get that some of us ),who are trained nerds with double breathing problems debaters, think everything has a deep underlying meaning, but sometimes....it really ...DOESN"T. Sometimes it just IS.Get it? Got it? Good.

#4) Oh, here it comes, sooner than I thought; I hate missing things. I hate missing OUT on things. I hate to think that something in my life passed me by and I literally can't do anything to stop it. Sometimes, we get SUPER lucky and that thing finds its way back (MOA- thank god...) but often times...those things are like socks in the dryer -- where the eff did it go? New thought. Theory:  Relationships ARE like socks in the dryer...some of them tumble around, make it through the roughest water and come out in better condition than they went in, and some...are just lost forever. I really did just make my relationships in a comparison to dirty, gross, lost socks. That happened. I think it makes a good point, however... in the big Whirpool dryer of life, we're all just socks -- getting tossed around, hoping to make it out better than we were before, and not to lose a part of ourselves we'll never get back. Food for thought here, people.

#5) Being adventurous is good...to a point. We all want to be risk takers. We all want to think that everyday, we wake up, get out of bed, and face -- head on -- the new challenges each day brings. Truth is, sometimes we realize that years have passed, and we literally have nothing different about us. I decided to change this. I decided I would leave behind "Kara who is comfortable in her bubble and never tries new things" and take on a bunch of new life adventures. Truth be told? I'm happy. More happy. Do I have things I miss? Yes. Do I have things I wish were different? Yes. Mostly, I have things I feel like are helping me become somone I like more than the fatter lazier duller old, less adventurous version of myself! Misty once posted on fb that "They say what you're doing at midnight on New Years Eve is what you'll spend the majority of the year doing..." I used to live by this. I now look back on the first 7 months of the year and realize, I'm doing everything COMPLETELY different. I'm not a statistic. I'm the EXCEPTION. Hell yes.

Tying all of this together...I kind of hope all the things I love, miss, and want out of life...come full circle and I find all my socks and find ways to incorporate them into all of my wardrobes...making my life more complete/fun/adventurous/loving/stable/awesome -- but for today? Today I will be thankful for enough. ~K