Sometimes in life --- we have to accept that we ALL have faults…or things that have happened to us that make us less than “desirable” to other people. Things we do/personality traits that are just plain, flat out, OBNOXIOUS –and in some cases…well, scary… but we also have to realize that we ALL have some kind of crazy. Some of us are the crazy that could be referenced from my previous blog—and some of us; just have A LOT of crap that we do that isn’t necessarily desirable in a mate. Well, you know what? No judgment. In fact—here’s a list of the top 20 obnoxious things I do…just so YOU know…so you can read this and go “Wow, contrary to how she acts, she realizes she has some crazy in her.” Yes, Yes I do…
So here goes….
1. I have a weird attachment to cards my family sends me. Birthday cards, Valentine’s cards – you name it, it’s probably on my fridge somewhere. I refuse to throw them away…if someone else did? I’d probably cry…A LOT. Then I’d scream at you for throwing away something so meaningless, yet so important to me.
2. If I laugh really hard, I can’t breathe, and I do the old man “breathy” scary laugh --or the “yuck” laugh that is just all around, unattractive. I see myself laughing in pictures and I immediately delete them. I look HORRIBLE when I laugh…smiling? Yes. Laughing? Gross.
3. I always remember really important things—the day after they happened. Like birthdays? I’m terrible. I’m more likely to remember your birthday, the day AFTER your birthday. I don’t do this to be hurtful, my mind just processes dates slowly because I think moments are more important…I could play back every detail of a great moment I shared with you – word for word- but ask me to remember your birthday and I’m the worst friend ever.
4. When I’m really drunk, I sleep with my butt in the air. No rhyme or reason to it just happens. I wake up with a back ache and normally my hips are really sore. That’s how I know I was sleeping that way…because usually by the time I wake up, I’m straightened out again. To anyone who ever plans on sleeping NEXT to me…I kick…A LOT – just ask Becker.
5. I have a shopping addiction -- To the point of scariness, probably. Sometimes I find clothes and go “whose is this?” Then someone like Becker or Eva reminds me of when/where I bought it and I go….REALLY????...I’d rather buy new clothes than do laundry – and sometimes, that’s just what I do. If you gave me the option of buying groceries for 2 months or really cute outfits for 1 week, I’d choose the outfits. My priorities are super screwed up, but shopping is really therapeutic to me.
6. I have CRAZY…craaaaaaazy A.D.D. If we are ever in a car together, I apologize in advance for the random 10-30 second intervals you’ll get to hear music at, which will slowly drive you insane. Also, I may or may not (but definitely do) change subjects based off whatever pops into my head at the time.
7. In addition to that – I do NOT think before I speak. Sometimes I wish I could grab all the words and just shove them back in my mouth before I say them. It rarely works, however…I usually say something completely inappropriate of totally offensive and go “WHYDOYOUDOTHISKARA?JESUS!”
8. I get really annoyed when things don’t go my way. Some might call it “controlling” or “diva-ish,” but really when it comes down to it—I just hate the idea that someone else is calling the shots. The easiest way to convince me to do something? Convince me it was my idea and I will probably go along with it. I promise myself I’ll do better in the future, but here we are…
9. I have a WHOOOOOLLLLLLE lot of guy friends. I don’t know what it is about girls, but guys just seem to get me. My group of regular friends consists of 3 girls and about 10-15 guys. Yeah, we’re lots of fun….but I’m not sure if other people really understand that – or just think we have random orgies…which we don’t… I love these guys like brothers, and if you can’t hang with the idea of a girl that is “one of the guys” – then I’m probably not the girl for you.
10. I hate taking the trash out. I will put it out on the balcony until my apartment complex gets mad before I take it down the one dumpster that’s at the OTHER end of the complex. SO. ANNOYING. Also, I hate carrying it. It makes me wanna throw up. Something about trash freaks me out.
11. I loathe carrying groceries up to my apartment. Sometimes I think it’d be easier to date someone so I could convince them to do this tedious task for me. For the mean time, I guess I just have to keep convincing my gay to do it.
12. I’m not very forgiving. I’d like to think if I ever did something crazy terrible to someone they’d forgive me, but most likely – I wouldn’t forgive them. If a guy ever cheated on me… and trust me, lying is WORSE…I’d NEVER, EVER get back with him. I think people are creatures of habit – and if you have a habit of cheating, I might just have a habit of staying the hell away from you.
13. I make NO sense as a person. I am a conservative liberal who loves and hates everything. I like being independently dependent and live a lavishly simple lifestyle. I think this makes me unique…other people probably think it makes me CRAZY…and completely nonsensical…in a way that is simply understood…if anyone ever asked me to explain it.
14. I’d rather be alone than settle for someone I do NOT want to be with. No amount of convincing me it’s a good idea will ever talk me into a guy. My friends could tell me he’s wonderful…that’s he’s a freakin’ prince – and I’d rather be alone than be with someone I’m not interested in…AT ALL.
15. I’m stubborn – to a fault. If I’m wrong, I will find 100 ways to prove why I’m right...in fact, I could say I’m right, you could prove it wrong, and I will find a loophole as to why I’m right. It’s a really messed up system, but it’s how I roll.
16. I am kind of selfish with my time. I work 8-5 Monday-Thursday, Monday night I have class from 6-10pm, Tuesday I have dance from 7-11, Wednesdays I normally hang out with Becker, Thursday I have class from 6-10pm and then I go listen to Hopper play with a group of friends til about 2am, and Friday and Saturday I go out with my friends…Sunday? I meet them for dinner. Sometimes a comedy show is thrown in there somewhere. In order to want to make time for you – I have to MAKE.TIME. for you. This schedule can change (and it will when I enroll in different classes next term) but the odds that I will fit most people in, is kind unrealistic. Now, I have FRIENDS I will make time for…but if you ask me on a date and I say “no,” it’s because I’m busy – and rearranging my schedule is undesirable.
17. I think love is a fairy tale. I stupidly, still believe in all the things Disney movies told us would happen in life. I think some guy will come out of NOWHERE and sweep me off my feet and love me unconditionally “happily ever after.” I think we’ll walk around and hold hands when we’re 80 and fight just as passionately as we make up. We’ll say “I’m sorry” and “I love you” and mean it every single time. We will see other attractive people and comment on them, but never think of it as anything other than “talk” because we are so desperately in love with each other. NOW – saying all this…I think it’s important to note I don’t think 99% of guys could fill this role. I’m particular to a fault. I want to be romanced. I want a guy who still believes in grand gestures and would be HONORED to be with me. I will not settle for someone who isn’t willing to put that kind of effort in…because of all the things I am….and all the things I don’t like about myself – I have a LARGE capacity to love.
18. I cannot save $. I don’t’ know what it is about me…but I’d rather spoil the people I love (and obviously myself) than have some cushy savings. I don’t mean spoil with crazy things I can’t afford – but small things that let the people around me know I care…which is good for them…bad for my savings. I’ll save $$ in my 30’s. My 20’s are meant to be frivolous if you ask me.
19. I have the most obnoxious singing voice. It’s like Sheryl Crow meets Kelly Clarkson with a little bit of (ugh) Miley Cyrus thrown in there. It makes no sense. Sometimes my voice kind of does this “raspy breaking” thing that other people swear they love. I kind of hate it. I record myself and scrutinize myself to a T. I probably have the weirdest look on my face when I play or hear a recording of myself, because I think it sounds like shit. It wouldn’t be weird of my friends were like “I don’t care for your voice” but I’d probably be like “why have you been lying all this time then?!” Ugh!
20. I have no life plan. I live/work in KC. I don’t want to end up here. I love my friends. I love my family…but they will not dictate any part of where I end up. I think living life a day at a time is sometimes the best way to live. It’s enthralling to know you have no idea where you’ll be a year from now…and you know what? Most people find it annoying that I move ALL. THE. TIME, but I love it. I go where I want. I do what I want. Most of all, I continue to live in this little Kara bubble that other people just can’t seem to understand….such is life. ~K
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